Sunday, November 4, 2007

A Room Full Lawyers or Doctors?


Note: This post totally attempts to stereotype for effect. If I put "many, but not all" disclaimers after every other sentence, it would get pretty boring pretty fast.

A few weeks ago I attended a cocktail party & dinner with my dad, one where the the invitees were almost exclusively doctors who were affiliated with an area hospital. Wives and kiddos were invited too. I didn't really want to go, but since my mom could not, I wanted to accompany dad...and I thought it wouldn't hurt to have a nice dinner in a cute lil' country club, right?

Well, the food turned out to be pretty gross, because it was the typical bland and boring, super-conservative dinner food for meetings. I don't know why I thought it might be good this time. So I just kept refilling on the Pepsi. Two wives of a couple docs I sat close to were rather fun to speak with; one spoke with me about her daughter who has no idea what she's doing in life, and another kept cracking jokes about finding the right man. And that was as good as it got.

It was interesting to be surrounded by a sea of doctors for the first time after becoming a "professional/grown up" myself, and it made me think about a number of things.

...What I've Becommmme, Erase Myself
I suppose if they had problems in the future they would come to Lone Lawyer Island in the room: me. I was predictably introduced to most as a potential "medmal defense attorney", to which they instantly brightened up.
I am no longer smiley Indian girl.
I am possible future need at a potenitally discounted price.
Especially to the Indians and Pakis in the room.
It's all good though.

This Ain't a Song For the Broken Hearted
Physicians, I think, are nice guys and gals most of the time- until you catch them in their go-go-go competitive mode or try to prove 'em wrong in some way.
But it's not like attorneys are any different. Turned out that I was not the only one in the room - there were a couple attorneys there that worked with the hospital. One was a very prominent Richmond attorney that I'd been wanting to meet for a number of months. So I got my chance, and I must admit, I was a bit nervous. He was what I expected: ultra-confident, suave, handsome, articulate, kind, and had great social skills. I spoke with him about medmal and he gave me pretty good advice. I was shocked though by his disdain at the "ceiling" that medmal lawyers face. Let's put it this way: his idea of chump change is 120/hour. That does not make one a bad person at all, but it is amazing how a certain amount of money can become not enough pretty quickly to some people.
*cartoon from www.mattpercival.com/ :)
By the end of the night, I came up with a few conclusions about who I'd rather be stuck with on that metaphorical island:
-If you feel sick or hurt, docs are definitely the crowd to seek. A lawyer might make you feel sicker by analyzing your problem in a mechanical fashion, no feelings attached.
-If you are bored as hell, a roomful of lawyers should cure your symptoms. Many will start talking...and never, ever stop. Even if you give them a totally obvious "I'm not paying attention to you anymore" look - it encourages them not to stop...no...but to move on to a more adventurous topic in an attempt to impress. It's all about winning, fool.
-On the other hand, if you want to zone out and not pay attention to anyone around you, or even write a chapter of your great american novel for a couple hours, have dinner with the docs. Once the topic gets to something health/medical-related, hospital-related, or insurance-related, it will go on for two hours. You do not exist anymore. Accept it and let go.
-If you need to check out some hot business threads, attorneys have it down pretty well, especially the young and rich ones. Docs had to wear scrubs for so many years, and then moved onto the fully-covering white coats so they never really needed to care about clothes. You know that we all secretly envy them for that.
-If you want to have a more chill evening overall, hang with the doctaz. They are down with goofy jokes and are o.k. with overall nonsensicalness at the end of a long night.
-If you want to feel like a smartass, or not smart at all, get with the lawyaz. They want to top top top things as much as possible...a joke isn't just a joke. "One must formulate joke with the perfect choice of words and timing in order to elicit desired response from audience."
-If you desire to feel stressed, surround yourself with either or both extremely competitive doctors and lawyers. Just pick a topic you know they will disagree about - from politics to religion- to cartoon history to fim reviews, and your brains will be picked at by them until you are an empty shell and it's time to go home. They may even call you later to continue the argument for fun. Bonus.

You're Still the One I Run Tooooo
We all enjoy making fun of attorneys and physicians (even if we are one ourselves, or due to a series of unfortunate events, both!) but the truth is, the earthly entities that you eventually run to when in wordly trouble are these very beings. Many say they hate them. I hate it when one is clearly incompetent AND greedy. But I do admire the skilled ones for their hard work and intellect...I just have difficulty accepting the big fat egos that some develop after they have gotten to a certain point in their education or after accumulating a certain amount of benjis and/or benzis. Tons of other people could have been in their position, but may not have been destined with the luck and luxury of having the right set of circumstances to follow a similar path.

Who Really Wins?
Our cultures, especially Asian and Muslim culture, bestow 5 star value on doctors and lawyers (either that or they just HATE laywers, period. No in between!) I admire them for their dedication and expertise...and years of surviving a hellish schooling experience. But when it comes down to it, those that I admire the most are people who work to pay for their education, and still manage to smile. Entrepreneureal spirits who are brave enough to take a risk and have faith that something good just might happen. Artists in all fields and inventors who survive almost exclusively on talent, and not on the crutch of a degree. The guy who seems like some average kid, with a cheerful, positive and humble disposition and aims to make people feel good - even though he graduated from an Ivy grad school towards the top of his class, and is about to rake in 700K/year. The girl who empties big execs' trash cans but makes every last penny for her family's well being, and is ok with that.

It's definitely time for some of us to reassess who our true heroes should be.

xxoxoo

Friday, October 5, 2007

Coming Soon...

Would you rather be stuck in a room full of lawyers or doctors?
(I know, neither)

Faith and the City* (Mozlem Love)

Sabr, Fasting, Life

*props to hina for title genesis.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's All Justin's Fault

No it really isn't, but I wish the root of Britney's problems could be reduced to that-for the sake of simplicity. So I'm not exactly a fan, but there have been worse music criminals before her, and will be many more after her. I don't read much about Brit except for what is shoved in my face when I open up the front page of many, varied internet news sources or as I'm waiting in line at Ukrop's or CVS...and so ok, I encounter her almost every day. So I can't help but think about ol' Brit sometimes. The news seems to be getting worse and worse :( It seems like it all began once her relationship with homeboy Justin started to spiral down, down, downward. How did she go from cute, bubbly girl-next-door to potentially losing custody of her children and having her bodyguard accuse her of using drugs, etc.etc.etc.etccccccc?

Life can snowball out of control sometimes...and then the avalanche comes if we don't pay attention. Her career was all about selling an image. It is about genius marketing, not music, in my opinion. She was the brand that a large portion of the population were drawn to, whether they hated or loved her. They bought her...just by paying so much attention. They are still buying her, watching the self-destruction in horror and awe.

So would things have been better if she turned around and saw the ice slowly but steadily crumbing? If she was content with her wealth and gave up the potential for more fame and fortune and attention...would things be better for her right now? Is it impossible to walk away from the magnetic draw of that kind of a lifestyle? I'm not sure, because I've never been close :) If I were to say, "She's stupid, why doesn't she just change!!?" that would be a shallow judgment on my part unless I could put myself in the shoes of a celeb of such stature. But what I do believe is that it takes tremendous strength to kick the habit of taking that drug, go through the withdrawl, and maintain hope that the doors to happiness in life are many. It just takes a leap of faith to open a new one sometimes.
Nope, most of the time.

Or maybe we should just blame stupid Justin!

Kidding.

xoxo

Oh and I know there's someone out there who probably thinks the drug metaphor is indicative of my past drug experimentation. Don't get excited; I have never done it before, even though I've resided in Richmond for so long and have been friends with various artsy up in the clouders. My drugs of choice are good food and music, preferably together.

Friday, September 21, 2007

On the First Pillar

Great quote from Samina Abdullah, Richmond, VA :
La ilaha illallah is a very powerful formula. It gives you individual empowerment, individual responsibility and individual accountability.
The Almighty saw fit to spend 13 years on getting those early gents to master it. It was by way of “formatting the hard drive”. Shed all the puppet strings of culture, family, DNA, fear, wealth and ego etc that control us all.
Stand free stand tall and stand true to your primal nature.
We (humans) are Allah’s noblest creation, His masterpiece! He calls us His Khalifa.
Once we reconnect with our primal nature, we are ready for great things and there’s no stopping us from being all that we can be.
If the Laws of Islam are from the same source as the laws that control the Universe, then it is the most natural thing for us to obey those laws. All the dos and don’ts should feel right, should feel satisfactory in the deepest recesses of our being.
But the condition is that I will seek them out and I will impose them upon myself.
Living life under imposition, is living life without integrity.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Is it 7:16 yet?

I was speaking with someone during a recent iftaar and he kept complaining about how pissed off he was that the Ramadan days were so long, lol. He wasn't just hungry...he was straight up angry. Obviously, I understood his hunger and whatnot, but I brought up how he now knows how the hungry population feels...except that they may break their fast with half a dorito and be quite thankful. (Not: fruit chaat, pakoras, mango shake, samosas, and dates galore of course. And then get all angry about it.) Pretty simple, commonly heard, non-rocket sciency stuff right? Well, he responded with "Is that why we fast?" And he wasn't 5...or 15...or 28...he was older.

And he was serious.

That brought to my attention that more adults than I wish probably fast thinking that God just wants them to starve for Him. You know, just because. No further reflection.

I think it gets scary when religious practices (especially the basic ones) just become automatic, robotic motions and we fail to wonder what the reasoning or beneficial effects are. Or to consider those effects while we are engaging in the actions. We're all guilty of it sometimes.

Of course there's multiple reasons for fasting-physical, mental, and spiritual. And there's the interaction of physical-mental-spiritual effects of fasting too. This year, there's one area in particular I've been focusing on: sabr (patience.) I'm too tired right now to finish this post so you're gonna have to wait until tomorrow to read it. (haha, get it get it) winkwink :P
But anyway, just wanted to post some thoughts on fasting and sabr a lil later. salamssss.

xoxo

Friday, September 14, 2007

This is the story of a girl


I wanted to start a blog for the longest time but had some major commitment issues. I think I'm ready now though :) This is kind of a selfish endeavor - I like writing for no damn reason. Ok, well, I like writing mainly because it helps me think in a more structured fashion and it's always a catharsis. It's fun too.

But I also wanted to keep a blog to connect.

To connect with those who want to hear stories of someone who might have thoughts, dreams, and experiences similar to theirs...or totally different. To pose questions and to strive to answer. To communicate beautiful experiences and to complain about stupid, unavoidable ironies. I guess these are confessions of a hopeless romantic-optimist who pretends she's not. Life is endless fascination; let's see if I can put some of it into words and photos.

And if you like chocolate brownie ice cream, I love you.

xoxo